Some great snippets!

Here's one from Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel (which is my commuting book, for when I'm focussed... it is AMAZING! i know I say that about every book I read and every preach I hear and every worship time I attend... but it's just true!!)

We repent because we're forgiven, it's not that we're forgiven because we repented... (let that sink in a little.... IMMMMMENSE TRUTH!)

And some from Banning at the JesusCulture night tonight in Southampton...

... our capacity to love God is only possible as a response to His loving us (Banning gave a brilliant illustration that I'm not eloquent enough to repeat, shame)

.. when we cry out to God, He cannot resist it! So pray, and He loves you so much He'll come!

... 'If no one else goes, I'm going anyway' - the attitude of a revival starter - a leader not a follower.

Hoax

Does everyone feel like a hoax as much as me?? I guess that sounds like a stupid question, haha. I was commuting into London this morning as I am on placement there, and sitting on the train ... this is something that I have spent a lot of my life dreaming of doing- having some high rising London job where I can dress smart and commute to a 9-5 job and just generally feel quite important. So anyway, there I was, book open on my lap, dishevelled attempt at smart clothes, a far too slovenly slouch than is proper, amongst lots of other commuters who all on appearance were doing a better job than me at looking important and interested in their various papers.

Anyway, I was not focussing well on my book, and found myself picking my face (one of my worst habbits) but suddenly I froze, thinking, 'oh no! They might be onto me! I can't do ugly things like pick my spot on my forehead on the train to LONDON! They'll realise I'm a hoax! They'll notice that I'm not really a mature, posh, wealthy, good looking, with etiquette high-rising London worker!'... It didn't take long to realise that my dishevelled slovenly appearance had probably already given me away...

Then I started (secretly) eyeing up the chap next to me. He had the times open (well, not open, it was the front page), and it took him quite a while to turn into it so I'm not sure he was focussed either. He had all the right appearance things going for him. Quite humourously he did sneak in a pick of the nose whilst I was observing... I wondered if he wondered if anyone was 'onto him' too?

I wondered if that train was full of people hoping that no one would notice that they weren't actually good enough, cool enough, popular enough, fun enough, good looking enough, posh enough...

Having always aspired to be someone who had a good job and dressed well and commuted to London, I thought that's what it looked like to 'make it' in this world. I thought it would probably feel special. And there I found myself feeling like a child in her mum's high heels at a cocktail party... but maybe that's all it is! Maybe there's some people who've been at it long enough that they've convinced even themselves that they've made it... but I'm not sure.

I'm not really sure whats the point of that, but it really made me stop. I think each time I grow up (which is happening very, very slowly) I realise that really I need to grow down, becoming great in this world's eye's is really not all that...

I am so glad that my value is in something other than making it in this world, because I would definitely be a hoax!

The benefits of having a mum in the office...

I love how every day life can bring such amazing revelations!

This week I've been on placement in a new part of Bedford's maternity unit, with a different midwife from usual. I need to give a little background, I work as a student midwife and do placements all around Bedford Hospital's maternity unit, with a specific midwife/mentor in each place. And one thing that the whole hospital has in common is computers, and as with every job we have plenty of paperwork and computer systems that we update continuously to show what care we've given to who and so on.

As you can imagine every so often 'hiccups' occur in these systems and me and my midwife/mentors are often clueless on where what we're looking for could be found, or how to undo what we've just done wrongly... you know what I mean. And there's a lovely lady who works in the office who is that person that just knows everything! She knows everyones phone numbers, she knows where things are all the time, she understands how the computer systems work and why! She's one of those people it's good to get on with, and I'm often sent to her office to try to sort something out.

The difference is that on this placement I've been working with a midwife who happens to be this lady's daughter. Almost before we encountered problems she was just saying 'call mum' or 'ask mum' or 'mum will do it'... problems were resolved quickly, phone numbers found, lost items retrieved... not that the lovely office lady doesn't willingly do this work for every midwife, but when working with her daughter we had extra permission to be a little bit cheeky in what we were asking for, to push boundaries a little, and to ask and ask again! I worked out why this was...

Because my midwife already had a good relationship with her mum!! She spent time with her, they laughed together, they helped eachother out, they had a genuine relationship that meant that asking for help was completely allowed.

I guess you figure where I'm going with this. Our Father, in heaven, is just like this office lady. He sorts everything out, and we get to ask of Him lots. But when we come as His children, with a background of relationship, we can refer every situation we encounter with to Him, we can ask of Him all the time, because He loves us and we love Him!! wow.

Good God!

My God is in a good mood all of the time! I am so struck by this right now. I am tired, exhausted, discouraged, anxious, stressed, angry, must I go on? So it was easy to get in my car and shout/whine at God about the situations and why I'm annoyed... then it just hit me, 'forget about me, look at Him!' He is SO beautiful and loving, He is full of joy and laughter, He longs to take my burdens (He never gives us situations to just expect us to cope with them - He gives them to us just so we can offer them right back to Him!)

And so, driving back from uni, I just started laughing at myself. "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, REJOICE! Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with thanksgiving by prayer and supplication present your requests before God, and the peace of God - which surpasses all understanding (!) - will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4 somewhere 'Version of Ryland'... His peace surpasses ALL understanding! I will never understand why I can have peace in all circumstances, but I know that I can. I want to be like the woman in Prov 31 who laughs in the face of times to come... with my family dressed in purple and ready for whatever lies ahead. Maybe not always dressed in purple!

Wow. What freedom and release. So on with my slightly manic life, but with my head held high and my shoulders back because I am not burdened but lifted up! PRAISE GOD!!!!

Relationship not function.

I was challenged recently that we should live for relationship and not function. Plenty of big stuff has been going on since that time, but specially today I'm drawn back to that same point.

When asked the greatest commandment Jesus said to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind... not to serve Him with it. If we serve God without loving Him it becomes a chore and we get pretty slack... if we love Him first we end up serving Him anyway without trying!

So much of my time is spend with my God cos I want to get something out of Him, I want to get something to share with others.. But I intend to learn to better spend time with Him just because He's great and greatly to be praised. Isn't He?!