'Soaking' is a concept that I am very excited to talk about./blog about.
At my job at the pub, if I want to clean my tables at the end of a busy night, I get my cloth. I can go to a table that is soiled and rub and rub and rub, but when my cloth is dry it is to no avail, perhaps moving the grime around but certainly not cleaning it.
At 10.15 ish each night I begin cleaning tables. I get some cloth, soak it under the tap, and then clean tables starting at the top of the restaurant area. And you know what, after 3 or 4 tables, the cloth is dry. Those 3 or 4 tables are lovely and clean, but the next will be less so if I carry on without getting a good dunking for my cloth. So I walk all the way back to the bar, soak the cloth again, and carry on. It's hassle walking all that way so many times to re-soak the cloth! But my tables simply wont get clean unless I do it!
In the Christian sense, I'm not sure we really 'get' soaking... but it's just another word for another quite ordinary thing! I think too often we disregard it as some wish-washy meditation/emotional relief for the weak. You know what, soaking is the only way to live! Or we will be dry and no use at all!
When I have had a long days work, or a long summers day of fun, I often come home and just soak in the bath. I need it! Not only for the cleaning purpose, but for the relaxation, for the rest and peace... the fruit of a long bath to me is cleanliness but also, de-stressing, a good thinking time and so better perspective, sometimes nothing at all but some sleep, and hopefully sometimes I smell pretty good after too!
The fruit of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control. (Gal 5v22??) Soak in our beautiful Lord and His Spirit! Come and be washed! be cleansed, be relaxed, get some perspective again, and become effective once again for the purposes that you have!
I have found that sometimes I'm really struggling to know truths, lies are coming in.... and whatever I do, I can't kick it. So come soak. Just rest into the presence of our Lord. Just drink of His goodness. and the truths so often just come! Sometimes other people can help, or the Bible, or worship, but sometimes just come empty and with no agenda, possibly even in the bath, and ENJOY. It's an adventure!
Thursday, 28 January 2010
Wednesday, 16 December 2009
anxious about tomorrow?
Soooo I had a fun revelation this week! For background information, I am considering taking a trip out to Oklahoma in February. Although I'm not particularly rich, I have a few savings and student loan etc and am not against using this money in a way that honours God, and so I have spent a very good amount of time looking at all sorts of flights to Oklahoma in Feb.
It struck me the other day, that it would be folly for me to be looking if I didn't have any potential of access to this money. I know we all like to dream, but does anyone in their right mind sit down and look for holidays, looking up cheaper options and a variety of flights, finding out the details of the hotel, looking up what the town might have to offer,,, if they have 100% no access to the money to buy it.
If someone who knew you really well offered to choose and buy you a massive holiday, what would your response be? You could try dropping hints on the kind of holiday you like, but I'm not so sure it would be of any use at all for you to sit there looking in detail at loads of holidays out of your own budget.
Does this make sense?! When someone else is choosing, what good does it do to have a go at choosing for yourself?! It might be quite fun, BUT you put youself at risk of atleast one bad thing - getting excited about a type of holiday that you're not going to have (and would not in fact be right for you). When the friend who IS buying knows exactly what they're doing and therefore what is going to suit you perfectly.
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather ino barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
Therefore do not be anxious saying, 'what shall we eat?' or 'what shall we drink?' or 'what shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matt 6v25-34
It struck me the other day, that it would be folly for me to be looking if I didn't have any potential of access to this money. I know we all like to dream, but does anyone in their right mind sit down and look for holidays, looking up cheaper options and a variety of flights, finding out the details of the hotel, looking up what the town might have to offer,,, if they have 100% no access to the money to buy it.
If someone who knew you really well offered to choose and buy you a massive holiday, what would your response be? You could try dropping hints on the kind of holiday you like, but I'm not so sure it would be of any use at all for you to sit there looking in detail at loads of holidays out of your own budget.
Does this make sense?! When someone else is choosing, what good does it do to have a go at choosing for yourself?! It might be quite fun, BUT you put youself at risk of atleast one bad thing - getting excited about a type of holiday that you're not going to have (and would not in fact be right for you). When the friend who IS buying knows exactly what they're doing and therefore what is going to suit you perfectly.
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather ino barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
Therefore do not be anxious saying, 'what shall we eat?' or 'what shall we drink?' or 'what shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matt 6v25-34
Friday, 23 October 2009
Revelation of the day
It's a good one! Ha!
So I'm looking after a house with a cat (thanks for this lovely opportunity to recover from my chest infection with the luxury of a sofa and large tele!) who is a rescue cat, relatively new to the household. And so she's pretty shy, and isn't really yet used to being picked up and relaxing, she always jumps away when you try to really 'pet' her.
I was just going up to bed last night and I leant down to stroke her good night (haha that sounds funny) and as she lept away I caught these exact words coming out of my mouth 'I wish that you would understand that it is my intention to love you and not to harm you!'
Suddenly, bam, because of affection for a CAT of all things, God is revealing His heart for me. When He reaches out to me so often I leap away, I dare not accept the loving stroke because after all I am so much like a rescue cat! Not that I blame people here for having treated me badly yet in my sinful nature I simply don't understand that when someone reaches out for me they can have a pure intention just to love me.
You know what, that cat had just pooed on the carpet too. Maybe she knew she'd done something wrong - am I overestimating the intelligence of cats? - although I'd not voiced it. Yet, somehow, I wasn't at all mad I just wanted to love her and say goodnight. Are we so often like this? We do something wrong and assume that God's going to be mad at us although He never voiced His anger, so we find ourselves shying away from His affection towards us...
I'm going to try to learn to accept God's incredible grace for me, and His desire to love me not to harm me. much like Lily the cat.
So I'm looking after a house with a cat (thanks for this lovely opportunity to recover from my chest infection with the luxury of a sofa and large tele!) who is a rescue cat, relatively new to the household. And so she's pretty shy, and isn't really yet used to being picked up and relaxing, she always jumps away when you try to really 'pet' her.
I was just going up to bed last night and I leant down to stroke her good night (haha that sounds funny) and as she lept away I caught these exact words coming out of my mouth 'I wish that you would understand that it is my intention to love you and not to harm you!'
Suddenly, bam, because of affection for a CAT of all things, God is revealing His heart for me. When He reaches out to me so often I leap away, I dare not accept the loving stroke because after all I am so much like a rescue cat! Not that I blame people here for having treated me badly yet in my sinful nature I simply don't understand that when someone reaches out for me they can have a pure intention just to love me.
You know what, that cat had just pooed on the carpet too. Maybe she knew she'd done something wrong - am I overestimating the intelligence of cats? - although I'd not voiced it. Yet, somehow, I wasn't at all mad I just wanted to love her and say goodnight. Are we so often like this? We do something wrong and assume that God's going to be mad at us although He never voiced His anger, so we find ourselves shying away from His affection towards us...
I'm going to try to learn to accept God's incredible grace for me, and His desire to love me not to harm me. much like Lily the cat.
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
Some great snippets!
Here's one from Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel (which is my commuting book, for when I'm focussed... it is AMAZING! i know I say that about every book I read and every preach I hear and every worship time I attend... but it's just true!!)
We repent because we're forgiven, it's not that we're forgiven because we repented... (let that sink in a little.... IMMMMMENSE TRUTH!)
And some from Banning at the JesusCulture night tonight in Southampton...
... our capacity to love God is only possible as a response to His loving us (Banning gave a brilliant illustration that I'm not eloquent enough to repeat, shame)
.. when we cry out to God, He cannot resist it! So pray, and He loves you so much He'll come!
... 'If no one else goes, I'm going anyway' - the attitude of a revival starter - a leader not a follower.
We repent because we're forgiven, it's not that we're forgiven because we repented... (let that sink in a little.... IMMMMMENSE TRUTH!)
And some from Banning at the JesusCulture night tonight in Southampton...
... our capacity to love God is only possible as a response to His loving us (Banning gave a brilliant illustration that I'm not eloquent enough to repeat, shame)
.. when we cry out to God, He cannot resist it! So pray, and He loves you so much He'll come!
... 'If no one else goes, I'm going anyway' - the attitude of a revival starter - a leader not a follower.
Monday, 28 September 2009
Hoax
Does everyone feel like a hoax as much as me?? I guess that sounds like a stupid question, haha. I was commuting into London this morning as I am on placement there, and sitting on the train ... this is something that I have spent a lot of my life dreaming of doing- having some high rising London job where I can dress smart and commute to a 9-5 job and just generally feel quite important. So anyway, there I was, book open on my lap, dishevelled attempt at smart clothes, a far too slovenly slouch than is proper, amongst lots of other commuters who all on appearance were doing a better job than me at looking important and interested in their various papers.
Anyway, I was not focussing well on my book, and found myself picking my face (one of my worst habbits) but suddenly I froze, thinking, 'oh no! They might be onto me! I can't do ugly things like pick my spot on my forehead on the train to LONDON! They'll realise I'm a hoax! They'll notice that I'm not really a mature, posh, wealthy, good looking, with etiquette high-rising London worker!'... It didn't take long to realise that my dishevelled slovenly appearance had probably already given me away...
Then I started (secretly) eyeing up the chap next to me. He had the times open (well, not open, it was the front page), and it took him quite a while to turn into it so I'm not sure he was focussed either. He had all the right appearance things going for him. Quite humourously he did sneak in a pick of the nose whilst I was observing... I wondered if he wondered if anyone was 'onto him' too?
I wondered if that train was full of people hoping that no one would notice that they weren't actually good enough, cool enough, popular enough, fun enough, good looking enough, posh enough...
Having always aspired to be someone who had a good job and dressed well and commuted to London, I thought that's what it looked like to 'make it' in this world. I thought it would probably feel special. And there I found myself feeling like a child in her mum's high heels at a cocktail party... but maybe that's all it is! Maybe there's some people who've been at it long enough that they've convinced even themselves that they've made it... but I'm not sure.
I'm not really sure whats the point of that, but it really made me stop. I think each time I grow up (which is happening very, very slowly) I realise that really I need to grow down, becoming great in this world's eye's is really not all that...
I am so glad that my value is in something other than making it in this world, because I would definitely be a hoax!
Anyway, I was not focussing well on my book, and found myself picking my face (one of my worst habbits) but suddenly I froze, thinking, 'oh no! They might be onto me! I can't do ugly things like pick my spot on my forehead on the train to LONDON! They'll realise I'm a hoax! They'll notice that I'm not really a mature, posh, wealthy, good looking, with etiquette high-rising London worker!'... It didn't take long to realise that my dishevelled slovenly appearance had probably already given me away...
Then I started (secretly) eyeing up the chap next to me. He had the times open (well, not open, it was the front page), and it took him quite a while to turn into it so I'm not sure he was focussed either. He had all the right appearance things going for him. Quite humourously he did sneak in a pick of the nose whilst I was observing... I wondered if he wondered if anyone was 'onto him' too?
I wondered if that train was full of people hoping that no one would notice that they weren't actually good enough, cool enough, popular enough, fun enough, good looking enough, posh enough...
Having always aspired to be someone who had a good job and dressed well and commuted to London, I thought that's what it looked like to 'make it' in this world. I thought it would probably feel special. And there I found myself feeling like a child in her mum's high heels at a cocktail party... but maybe that's all it is! Maybe there's some people who've been at it long enough that they've convinced even themselves that they've made it... but I'm not sure.
I'm not really sure whats the point of that, but it really made me stop. I think each time I grow up (which is happening very, very slowly) I realise that really I need to grow down, becoming great in this world's eye's is really not all that...
I am so glad that my value is in something other than making it in this world, because I would definitely be a hoax!
Wednesday, 16 September 2009
The benefits of having a mum in the office...
I love how every day life can bring such amazing revelations!
This week I've been on placement in a new part of Bedford's maternity unit, with a different midwife from usual. I need to give a little background, I work as a student midwife and do placements all around Bedford Hospital's maternity unit, with a specific midwife/mentor in each place. And one thing that the whole hospital has in common is computers, and as with every job we have plenty of paperwork and computer systems that we update continuously to show what care we've given to who and so on.
As you can imagine every so often 'hiccups' occur in these systems and me and my midwife/mentors are often clueless on where what we're looking for could be found, or how to undo what we've just done wrongly... you know what I mean. And there's a lovely lady who works in the office who is that person that just knows everything! She knows everyones phone numbers, she knows where things are all the time, she understands how the computer systems work and why! She's one of those people it's good to get on with, and I'm often sent to her office to try to sort something out.
The difference is that on this placement I've been working with a midwife who happens to be this lady's daughter. Almost before we encountered problems she was just saying 'call mum' or 'ask mum' or 'mum will do it'... problems were resolved quickly, phone numbers found, lost items retrieved... not that the lovely office lady doesn't willingly do this work for every midwife, but when working with her daughter we had extra permission to be a little bit cheeky in what we were asking for, to push boundaries a little, and to ask and ask again! I worked out why this was...
Because my midwife already had a good relationship with her mum!! She spent time with her, they laughed together, they helped eachother out, they had a genuine relationship that meant that asking for help was completely allowed.
I guess you figure where I'm going with this. Our Father, in heaven, is just like this office lady. He sorts everything out, and we get to ask of Him lots. But when we come as His children, with a background of relationship, we can refer every situation we encounter with to Him, we can ask of Him all the time, because He loves us and we love Him!! wow.
This week I've been on placement in a new part of Bedford's maternity unit, with a different midwife from usual. I need to give a little background, I work as a student midwife and do placements all around Bedford Hospital's maternity unit, with a specific midwife/mentor in each place. And one thing that the whole hospital has in common is computers, and as with every job we have plenty of paperwork and computer systems that we update continuously to show what care we've given to who and so on.
As you can imagine every so often 'hiccups' occur in these systems and me and my midwife/mentors are often clueless on where what we're looking for could be found, or how to undo what we've just done wrongly... you know what I mean. And there's a lovely lady who works in the office who is that person that just knows everything! She knows everyones phone numbers, she knows where things are all the time, she understands how the computer systems work and why! She's one of those people it's good to get on with, and I'm often sent to her office to try to sort something out.
The difference is that on this placement I've been working with a midwife who happens to be this lady's daughter. Almost before we encountered problems she was just saying 'call mum' or 'ask mum' or 'mum will do it'... problems were resolved quickly, phone numbers found, lost items retrieved... not that the lovely office lady doesn't willingly do this work for every midwife, but when working with her daughter we had extra permission to be a little bit cheeky in what we were asking for, to push boundaries a little, and to ask and ask again! I worked out why this was...
Because my midwife already had a good relationship with her mum!! She spent time with her, they laughed together, they helped eachother out, they had a genuine relationship that meant that asking for help was completely allowed.
I guess you figure where I'm going with this. Our Father, in heaven, is just like this office lady. He sorts everything out, and we get to ask of Him lots. But when we come as His children, with a background of relationship, we can refer every situation we encounter with to Him, we can ask of Him all the time, because He loves us and we love Him!! wow.
Tuesday, 15 September 2009
Good God!
My God is in a good mood all of the time! I am so struck by this right now. I am tired, exhausted, discouraged, anxious, stressed, angry, must I go on? So it was easy to get in my car and shout/whine at God about the situations and why I'm annoyed... then it just hit me, 'forget about me, look at Him!' He is SO beautiful and loving, He is full of joy and laughter, He longs to take my burdens (He never gives us situations to just expect us to cope with them - He gives them to us just so we can offer them right back to Him!)
And so, driving back from uni, I just started laughing at myself. "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, REJOICE! Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with thanksgiving by prayer and supplication present your requests before God, and the peace of God - which surpasses all understanding (!) - will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4 somewhere 'Version of Ryland'... His peace surpasses ALL understanding! I will never understand why I can have peace in all circumstances, but I know that I can. I want to be like the woman in Prov 31 who laughs in the face of times to come... with my family dressed in purple and ready for whatever lies ahead. Maybe not always dressed in purple!
Wow. What freedom and release. So on with my slightly manic life, but with my head held high and my shoulders back because I am not burdened but lifted up! PRAISE GOD!!!!
And so, driving back from uni, I just started laughing at myself. "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, REJOICE! Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with thanksgiving by prayer and supplication present your requests before God, and the peace of God - which surpasses all understanding (!) - will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4 somewhere 'Version of Ryland'... His peace surpasses ALL understanding! I will never understand why I can have peace in all circumstances, but I know that I can. I want to be like the woman in Prov 31 who laughs in the face of times to come... with my family dressed in purple and ready for whatever lies ahead. Maybe not always dressed in purple!
Wow. What freedom and release. So on with my slightly manic life, but with my head held high and my shoulders back because I am not burdened but lifted up! PRAISE GOD!!!!
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